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Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Negative Nancy

A simple switch in our thought process is all it takes to turn our day from negative to positive. Sometimes we get very comfortable in that negative space we find ourselves in. That exact thing was happening to me yesterday. I was sitting on my computer and wondering why I sucked so bad and then finally a teeny tiny voice told me to get up and be active/clean my apartment. So I did. I started with dishes then started a load of laundry, then back to the kitchen, then on with the laundry. I been went on to start filling in my planner and pretended like I was super busy and important. Nevertheless, it took me out of my funk and got me out of my head, which is exactly what I needed.

I've noticed with myself that I find a weird sense of comfort in Negative Town. I blame it on the years of depression I went through when I was younger (like most people I'm sure), but I've also grown to realize that everyone feels this way at some point or another. A great book I love and have read a few times now is A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. I'm sure you've heard of it - it's been on Oprah's Book Club for ages and he's truly an incredible human being. In the book he talks about something he calls the Pain-Body, which he describes as the voice in our heads/our thoughts. Most people are at the mercy of their thoughts and are possessed by that voice. 

It would literally take so much time and a much more eloquent mind than my own (e.g. Eckhart Tolle) to really get to the crux of what the Pain-Body is, but essentially it's your conditioned mind telling you how horrible and awful everything is. It feeds off of drama and sadness and all that is bad and it isn't until you're conscious of the Pain-Body that you can destroy it. 

Becoming aware/conscious of these negative thoughts and ideas is the first and most important step of getting yourself out of that state. 

It took me a while to find a routine that sort of kicked me into gear and out of that negative space. It took me a while to even want to get out of that space, to be honest, but when I finally realized that it really didn't take too much effort, I stopped hurting myself so much mentally and emotionally. For me, I try to just get active or do something that takes my focus off of whatever it is that is making me sad or upset. This might sound like putting your problems on the back burner, but tangible issues that need to be taken care of aren't what I'm referring to here. I mean instead of focusing on how fat I feel or how stagnant I feel or unsuccessful I feel, I instead will write in my journal, go for a walk, or put makeup on - anything that makes me happy and puts me in a better mood.

Just find whatever works for you and fills you with joy. I didn't anticipate this post being this long, but hey! I hope it helped someone out. 
xo / R.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Truth

Sometimes you feel things that you're uncertain about; you can't pinpoint exactly what it is that's sitting in your chest and making its way through you, yet something is there. It might be painful, it might be crippling, it might make you cry, but instead of allowing it to do any or all of these things, you divert your attention to anything and everything else. This is how most people live their lives and honestly, you can hardly call this living. Self medicating and distracting yourself so that you don't feel what you should be feeling. My acting teacher, John Ruskin, says that you have to go through life allowing people to affect you. It's such a beautiful and simple sentiment. But in order for this to happen you must first allow yourself to feel

As I write this, I'm feeling something and I can't quite put my finger on it. I have no idea what is making my eyes water or what is squeezing my chest. My first instinct is to try and figure out the cause, the reason, the source of this feeling, but I can't figure it out so now what? Ruskin would say, "Just sit with it. Sit with the uncomfortableness." Much easier said than done. In class, we work on this during our repetition exercises - we focus our attention on our partner in order to take our minds off of ourselves. This allows you to be impulsive and instinctual and you would be surprised what type of emotions seep out of you when you're truly focused on your partner, not thinking, and your guard is down. Being able to fully immerse yourself in your partner is something that takes lots of practice, but once you've got it down, I imagine that life, not just acting, becomes a whole lot easier. 

I have been dabbling with meditation because it helps you to be present and get out of your head and just take a moment to be. I downloaded an app called Headspace and the man guiding your meditation says to just sit with whatever you're feeling and it's actually really beautiful to just sit and live truthfully for those moments. Ultimately that's all I really want to do... live truthfully. If I'm feeling sad, I'll feel sad; If i'm feeling happy, I'll feel happy. I just want to stay as present as possible, honor each moment, live my truth and allow life to affect me. I want to get out of my damn head and stop being so self-conscious and judgmental. It's so funny, being overly conscious of self... just live in the moment and enjoy things! Love! Laugh! Live! There are so many beautiful things and people surrounding us and too often our blinders are up and we play it safe, missing everything. Challenge yourself to be present and alive. 

Keep it simple. Breathe and live your truth.
xo / R.


Wednesday, December 11, 2013

happy

We had a table read last night for the short film I'm going to be in. It was a lot of fun! Went out for a drink afterwards with a cast member, the two writers (that are also directing), and the AD. It was so amazing. I'm such a firm believer in divine timing, and the universe always guides you to where you are supposed to be when you're supposed to be there. It's such a beautiful thing.
xo / R.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

actress

A few of my favorite actresses. Reason for this post is that I need some inspiration! I'm starting an acting class tonight and I am beyond nervous. I need a monologue and I can't decide what to do... yikes. We'll be studying Meisner. The books I've read were about the method, but I've heard/read that the method and Meisner complement each other well so we shall see. lol Wish me luck!!!
xo / R

Monday, May 14, 2012

new hair

I've been pretty bored with my recent hair, which is basically blonde grown out for so long that it appears that I've gotten an ombre dye job... but it's really just laziness and indecisiveness. Anyway, I think that I've finally made a decision on what to do with my hair! I stumbled across a photo of Rihanna in Self Magazine and immediately, I knew that I had to do it. 


I've seen her hair like this before, but for some reason when I saw it this time, I just knew I wanted to try this hair style/color. I've always wanted bangs, but have never tried them because my hair is so extremely curly and I hardly ever straighten it, but I think I can manage. I'm going to bring these photos in to my stylist and see what he can do! Will definitely post pictures when I'm done. :) xo